Why High Achievers Lose Momentum—And How To Reclaim It

In August 1978, I had what I call a defining moment. Within 24 hours, I lost two foundational pillars of my life: my marriage and my business. It was a crushing blow, but it also became the turning point that reshaped my future.

I realized that how I handled that moment would shape everything that followed. In the months after, I made a commitment: I would take 100% responsibility for my confidence, my goals, and my growth.

I couldn’t rely on anyone else to build my future—that was entirely up to me.

The impact of setbacks.

Setbacks can feel devastating, especially for those accustomed to achieving high levels of success.

For some high achievers, the weight of expectations can lead to a more troubling outcome: “checking out.” This can manifest as burnout, disengagement, or, in extreme cases, depression. Recognizing this risk and countering it with proactive strategies is essential.

Often, high achievers who “check out” do so because they feel they can’t meet the unrealistic demands placed on them—either by others or by themselves. The constant pressure to excel can lead to a fragile mindset that is intolerant of setbacks. When individuals don’t have tools to navigate challenges or recalibrate their goals, they may disengage entirely.

Setbacks, however, are not defeats. When viewed through the right lens, they become essential to growth.

Resilience often stems from how you frame your experiences. If you measure your progress against unrealistic ideals, you risk feeling perpetually dissatisfied. However, if you measure backward—comparing where you are now to where you started—you can see the tangible progress you’ve made and feel more confident moving forward.

Far from being roadblocks, setbacks are often the precursors to breakthroughs. By reframing challenges in this way, you set the stage for long-term success.

Reclaiming confidence: tools for growth and resilience.

State your wants without explanation.

High achievers often struggle to articulate what they truly want. They may get caught in a cycle of pursuing what others expect of them or chasing vague ideals that aren’t aligned with their own desires.

Breaking free from this cycle is essential for confidence and progress.

To start, you must state what you want clearly and without explanation. This simple act removes the need for justification and anchors you in your own aspirations, not the expectations of others. It’s a shift in perspective that allows you to focus on opportunities rather than roadblocks.

Recognizing and articulating your true wants is a skill that requires practice, but over time, it becomes a powerful tool for shaping your future.

Daily journaling for clarity and confidence.

After experiencing significant personal and professional setbacks, I made a life-changing decision: I committed to journaling every day.

For 25 years, I wrote down what I wanted. This practice helped me clarify my desires and provided a tangible record of my progress. Over time, it became clear how my wants aligned with a greater vision for my life and work. Journaling was more than a habit—it became a foundation for my confidence and direction.

Focus on authentic relationships.

While journaling clarified my internal direction, redefining my relationships brought external alignment to my goals. I realized that true fulfillment comes from pursuing the right relationships and opportunities—not chasing arbitrary benchmarks.

Redefining relationships allowed me to align my personal and professional life with my values. By surrounding myself with people who shared my vision and energy, I unlocked greater opportunities and built partnerships that fueled both my success and happiness.

Moving forward with purpose.

The obstacles you face are not barriers but opportunities to clarify what you truly want and take deliberate action toward achieving it. By practicing daily reflection, focusing on growth-oriented relationships, and prioritizing what you truly want over what others expect, you can transform challenges into stepping stones for a bigger future.

Imagine a future where every challenge becomes an opportunity, every setback is a stepping stone, and every relationship fuels your growth. This is what’s possible when you take full responsibility for your confidence and focus on what truly matters to you.

The journey to fulfillment starts with a single decision: to take full responsibility for your confidence, goals, and growth.

Everything else follows from there.